no but guys if you don’t know it, weiss kreuz was this hideously animated venture into brand territory by koyasu takehito (aka that deep voiced guy who’s in everything; he was zechs) who wanted to make a franchise for him and three of his seiyuu friends. he had a (genuinely talented) manga artist design the characters (and later screwed her out of royalties for them :|) and then took all her interesting characterization ideas and torpedoed them for INTENSE, UNWARRANTED MANPAIN.
so weiss kreuz is about four dudes who are forced, for various reasons, to assassinate “bad people” (THE LINE BETWEEN GOOD AND BAD IS WAVED ABOUT CLUMSILY, USUALLY WITH GREAT BUCKETS OF WEEPING ON THE CHARACTERS’ PARTS) at night; by day, they are motherfucking florists.
each of these assholes is designed to appeal to whichever bishounen type is your particular preference. you’ve got the slutty ladychasing jaded one, you’ve got the sweet and kind of stupid sporty guy, you’ve got the brooding tragic quiet one, and you’ve got the cute little kid one. anyway they’ve all got ridiculously tragic life stories including things like “they killed my girlfriend and i weirdly think every dark haired woman i see is her now” “i’m obsessed with my comatose sister to the point that i’m going by the japanese equivalent of ‘susan’” “I USED TO BE A SOCCER GOALIE AND NOW I AM NOT” and “I’M THE PRODUCT OF OUR MAIN ENEMY’S DEAD WIFE’S AFFAIR WITH HIS BROTHER (WHO IS ALSO SECRETLY THE LEADER OF OUR TRAGICALLY UNDERSTAFFED ORGANIZATION).”
eventually the main bad guys show up and they’re awesome but also tragically hilarious too. here’s their family photo:
they’re SCHWARZ because they fight WEISS and also they don’t need weapons because THEY’RE ALL PSYCHIC FOR NO REASON no seriously out of nowhere the show is like btw psychics. the tiny one is of course the most dangerous and the redhead is of course the fandom bicycle and all the REALLY edgy fans like the eyepatch guy best because he licks knives a lot and talks about sins against god. and stuff.
it’s a terrible show. but most everyone in the yaoi circles of old had seen at least an episode and was writing epic crossover fanfiction with lots of buttsex and suicide and really bad songfics.
the only part of it you should ever watch are the dub outtakes, which are amazing. one, two, three, four, five. (seriously. you will laugh for hours.)
callanswall 