Tag: fuck

roachpatrol:

do you ever think about how voldemort was 72 when he died? like, this dude spent his whole life trying to figure out immortality. as a wizard he’d probably have made it to 200 if he just ate healthy, got regular exercise, had wizard doctor checkups, whatever. 

and like, the philosopher’s stone existed! no-drawbacks immortality was already a thing, they established this in the first book, nicholas flammel and his wife had been using it for centuries and by all accounts being pretty decent people and not fucked up psycho murder snakes so maybe tom riddle could have just asked very nicely to use it for a little bit, like, before he did a bunch of evil shit?? 

instead, no. he goes and decides the solution to dying is to turn into like nightmare snake hitler, start two civil wars, and croak at an age some muggles don’t even retire at. 

worst villain ever. 

#LOOK IF YOU WANT TO LIVE FOREVER#AND YOU DIE IN A CIVIL WAR YOU INSTIGATED#MAYBE DON’T INSTIGATE A SECOND WAR#THE MINUTE YOU COME BACK TO LIFE#MAYBE GO SIT ON A TROPICAL ISLAND SOMEWHERE#SMELL A FLOWER#WHAT A SHITHEAD

meganphntmgrl:

Relatedly, here is my favorite Jesus Christ Superstar story:

Back when I briefly was trying to take an anthropology class in college (this was the year I eventually dropped out of full-time studenthood), there were a bunch of theater kids in there for some reason, and it almost always turned into a singalong before our professor arrived.

Anyway, one day a couple of guys were trying to do the scene where Jesus is brought before Pilate for the first time, and the guy doing Pilate’s part forgot the line “you’re deep in trouble, friend”.

So he sputtered for a moment and ended up bellowing “YOU’RE NOT MY BUDDY, GUY!” to the appropriate tune, and by the time our professor came in, about a quarter of the class were all rolled up on our desks and shaking with laughter.

So that’s it, really.