someone who doesn’t know me very well: hey, are you watching that brilliantly harrowing new show that mines the depths of the evils of the human psyche in grim, masterful detail?
me, who recently almost cried at the end of an airport safety video: uh…
for some inexplicable reason over the past three years youtube has decided that this video has to constantly be on my sidebar, my end of video pop-up recommendations, my front page suggestions, literally everywhere the site could possibly lead me to click and watch it.
and i’m a sucker because it’s a banger – don’t @ me if you disagree – so sometimes i will watch it, and youtube will add that watch to my personal suggestion algorithm and the cycle continues anew.
boney m ‘rasputin’ is always there, will always be there. always suggested, always waiting for me to click.
dear diary, today the rasputin curse glitched for a brief shining moment and showed me this pure uncut heat rock instead of boney m in rayon and beard glue.
do you ever bite into a piece of cheese on bread and immediately find yourself as a true and honest shepherd boy in the 1300s who sometimes steals apples but is overall hale and truehearted
my dad wwnt for a bushwalk saw some yellow tailed black cockatoos two varieties of worter dragon a wallaby and an american poking a fucking death adder with a stick
elementary school: reads at a middle school level
middle school: reads at a high school level
high school: reads at a college level
college: re-reads Harry Potter
The Hero’s Life is an
unceasing struggle for supremacy over his peers.
WarriorMale
[sweating bullets] w…w-warriormale…. [gulps and looks at my clipboard] i hate to tell you this but th-that’s not wrestling, that’s overwatch fan art of two characters having sex sir [quaking in my fatigues]
Actually its called “taking a Man’s back.”
Very common fight position in wrestling and Brazilian jiujitsu.
More “wtf are humans, please leave the rest of us be” stuff:
Human reactions to fear!
No, I’m not talking about screaming or freezing in one spot and pissing yourself. I’m talking about the weirder, more specific-to-only-humans fear reactions.
Like singing.
Idk how many of you have watched people play horror video games, but a surprising amount of people start narrating what’s going on in a sing-song voice.
Imagine being an alien, walking in a horrific, dark tunnel with these weird gangly creatures, you’re all scared out of your wits and then one of them starts fucking singing.
In a dark cave. While everyone’s terrified.
“ ♫ ~We are all gonna fucking die, this is terrible and I wanna go hooooome~ ♬ ”
my favorite thing is when people from your high school who got married at 20 and have three kids at 22 post shit like “living with your significant other isn’t all fun it’s constant fighting and discomfort and never being happy! constant misery is natural and expected don’t get your hopes up! buy these pyramid scheme beauty products btw”
callanswall 