I don’t understand this weird new trend where we all pretend we just figured out corporate social media is an advertising tool. Like we’ve been lied to or something, and believed Denny’s started a tumblr just to hang out with us. It’s truly bizarre. And then the other half of the trend, where we just sort of yell at or try to mock the social media accounts as an anti-capitalist statement is just as weird but for a different reason… These accounts obviously aren’t run by like, the CEOs of the company. The only people seeing these ‘sick burns’ are the social media staff, who have nothing to do with all the unsavory shit we all despise about corporations. They’re probably underpaid, and their literally job is just “Hey make a funny informal ad” or “Hey interact with human beings”. It’s the online equivalent of doing this shit to cashiers at stores. Can you imagine that? Some cashier is like “Have a nice day” and someone responds “Your false corporate kindness is TRANSPARENT” and then screenshots it to brag about it later? It’s really super weird.
So Prof. Mark Reidl of Georgia Tech is the best kind of geek, and used some cool scripting to extract all the things on Wikipedia with plot summaries: movies, books, tv episodes, video games, etc. That’s a lot of plot summaries: 112,936, to be exact.
With a dataset this large, a neural network can achieve impressive results. Sure enough, when I trained this open-source neural network framework on just the titles alone, it consistently came up with titles that were both varied and (usually) plausible.
Below are some of my favorites, arranged roughly by apparent genre:
Action/Adventure
Titanic Buffalo Pirates: A Fight Dance Story The Bad Legend Conan the Pirate O Bullets Home Transformers Shurk Hat Dies! An Enemy of Bob (Homicide: Life on the Street) Cannibal Spy II American Hero: Fire of Crusty Lego Man Hunt Nancy Drew: The Last Day (film) Surf Crisis Legend of the Experience of Scarlet Freedom Damageboo American Midnight: Swear Dragon Problem
Scifi/fantasy
Under the Daleks Batman and Flancles: The Fun Tree The Legends of World Planet Bomberman’s Love The Enchanted Feed The Star Wars: The Santa Contact The Long Ninja Dove in the Air (film) The History of the Galaxy Bunny Lada City of the Stupid (film) Shy Castle Hamburger (Star Trek: The Next Generation) Swords and Batman: Summer Party ?
Kids/Family
The Boordeeple (2011 film) A Dog’s Toy Friends Boop (Adventure Time) A Dinosaur Quest Colonel Corn (video game) Scooby-Drum New Bear Borky the Pig (film) Excellent Very Broken Christmas The Great Bother Cat (film) Happy Cat in the Yaku Wonder Fireman and Halloween Rules Big Can Flower Home The Green Yaurglar Pig Scooby-Doo’Wagon Traps (video game) Book Dog (film)
Horror
Terror Dog Tree Screaming Zombies of Florence The Trunkelling A Vampire Time for Monster Murder’s Eagle Frozen Bat (film) Haunted Place The Sheep of Evil Barney’s The Devil’s Treachery Merry Scroobers: Crown of Evil The Steel-Pounted Murder King The Shadow of Life of Very Worgy (film) The Mystical Booged of California
Documentary
Market that Knave Spork at Bliss The White Soup An Indiana Office The Last Fish Show The Fish of Education
Restricted section (there were quite a few more of these)
Absilloved Lovers 2: Black Bearfly Dawn Horse Man Academy 5-R: Cowboy Sheeper Wydex Breed Bot 3: The Journey Kitchen Wild Bad Party 109 Pink Moon Indiscreet Maidman
And finally, a list of the most quintessential story titles, obtained by setting the creativity to near zero on a highly-trained network:
The Story of the Stranger (1994 film) The Last Day of the Story The Lost Princess (film) The Stranger (1994 film) The Last Star (1994 film) The Secret of the Story of the Stranger (1996 film) The Stranger (2014 film) The Story of the Stars The Story of the Stranger (1999 film) The Last Day of the Sun The Story of the Star Trek: The Secret of the Story of the Star Wars
i too, think it would be different if we were staring into our empty palms and not an incredibly complex device which gives us access to almost all of the information in the world and can be used to communicate with other people
This is like taking a picture of a cyclist and photoshopping the bike out and then making fun of them for being in a silly position
reblog if you DO lie in bed and stare at your palms for hours while dissociating from reality
Where’s that pic of that motorist on a like low riding motorbike or whatever but the bike had been photoshopped out and it looked like he’s farting fire because this is literally that.
It’s not actually known if lemons were made by humans or if they were just natural hybrids of citrons and sour oranges. Apparently it’s super common for citrons to fertilize basically anything they’re near.
great now we gotta kinkshame the fruit
Everything about this post is going in so many directions at once
callanswall 