doggirlsondrugs:

and she’d shuffle out to the car mashing her toes into the front of her slippers and kind of melt onto the seat in a haze of addiction fulfilled into addiction fulfilling and we’d make the drive in total silence, the road empty and the sky slowly lifting itself up and out in a light bruise and I’d feel her eyes on me the whole way in and following me up and into the gas station while she waited in the car and she’d hang her foot just an inch too close to the gear shift the whole way back, housecoat falling over leg resting that inch too close, and she’d hang her cigarette barely out the cracked window; enough to show me it’s open but so little it’ll still trap her memory in my car because she knows as much as I get worried about the smoke sinking in and my lungs drying up and me becoming the posterchild for how smoking hurts your family, too, I miss it and everything like it and I miss her smell in the car more immediately than I really worry for my lungs being clean or any real vision of the future at all and when we’d get back to the apartment we’d fall into bed at an angle with all of our limbs dangling off the edge hanging above the floor and with her hand resting on my shoulder like we’d rehearsed the fall onto the mattress for weeks and really: we had, and I’d feel my mind rise up and above us and take a picture of the moment held between breaths of the rest of the world

#edna krabappel#just so we all know who this is about