stephendann:

provincialesbian:

fuck man the whole ‘Farmboy From Small Town is Actually Chosen One, What do You Mean the Kingdom Is Doomed Nothing Happens here in Small Townington between the river I have a crush on the Innkeepers daughtersville” fantasy trope is soooo funny if u make it australian. like yeah we gave Gavin from Caboolture a big magic sword. he has a ute, hes dependable, im sure its fine

Gazza Bushbasher from Caboolture, Hero of the Atherton Tablelands.  Armed with nothing inclusive of his wits, a fuck off big sword forged from the rollcage of Peter Brock’s legendary Ford, and the desire to totally impress Shazza “Sharon” McKenzie, daughter of the Principal of Clontarf High, Gazza must see off some right bullshit going down up the mountain pass of the Toowoomba ranges.

“Too fucking right mate” says Kevo BarrelBringer, shiftworker at the local bottle-o, and top mate of Gazza the Chosen, “If you need shit fucked up right, Gazza’s yer bloke”. 

“Fuck oath, chuck a slab in the back and let’s get it done. Easier than a 3am Maccas run in blinding rain mate” 

“Speaking of..”

And thus bogan the quest of ages…