achilles: He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic.
patroclus: I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)
agamemnon: “YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!” yelled Rumbridge. “YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS!
helen: You might think I’m a slut but I’m really not
hector: Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?
paris: Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful?
odysseus: STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!
diomedes: If thou doth not kill him, then I shall kill him anyways!
iliad characters as quotes from my immortal
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