phonographzerohash:

vorked:

sexhaver:

pastel-crow:

funnygamememes:

mrclassyclass:

“It just works.”

WHAT?!

How hard is it to program a metal box that moves in a straight line

holy shit bethesda games must have the worst spaghetti code known to man

Bethesda’s games are run on the worst spaghetti code known to man. That hodge-podge engine has been mummified and dying since 2008.

2008? Try 2002. They’ve been repurposing the Gamebryo engine since Morrowind. 

I don’t know for a fact that Fo3 and New Vegas have this problem, but I’d put money on it having the same water filter glitch that Oblivion and Skyrim have – Where you fanangle the camera right on the water line and it lets you see underwater clearly? This is how you know Bethesda’s claims of ‘building a new engine from the ground up’ for each new game aren’t quite true: That same glitch has been present and unfixed SINCE MORROWIND. 

The reason why bushead up here works the way he works can all be pointed back to the fact that Morrowind’s engine, with Morrowind being the first open-world 3D game Bethesda ever attempted, was a hot mess even by 2002 standards. Morrowind did not have ANY movable objects other than creatures and NPC’s (placing items down just created a static object in that location), and the collision was somehow still garbage – You’d just fall through the ground when encountering too many objects at too large a size, as anyone who’s ever been to Vivec City can account for. Objects (and NPC’s, for that matter) having actual physics was a feature that’s not native to the engine, but rather, was tacked on for Oblivion.

So because of that, there are certain things that are either not possible or are very difficult for the zombified, stapled together Gamebryo corpse to handle, and making the collision system not lose it’s shit when statics are told to slide vertically along a set path is one of them. Doing backend nonsense like creating an invincible, inaccessible NPC wearing a bus as a hat is actually the easiest and least taxing solution, because NPC’s have pathfinding skills and easily modifiable stats (like speed, for instance) already programmed in.

I was shocked at how the opening of Skyrim actually (gasp) has you sitting on a moving horsebound cart, but if you’re someone who’s played through that opening sequence more than two or three times, you’re still likely to have encountered this very scripted opening glitching like this, despite, theoretically, the worldstate of the game being 100% clean of any modifications or player interactions that could have fucked with the collision on the cart or the pathfinding of the horses.