me: mum hows your online puzzle going
mum: its really hard.
me: whoa, why are there only like 4 tiny characters in the middle surrounded by all that blue bullshit??
mum: remind me again that you studied linguistics at uni
me: what, is that not blue?
mum: no, i mean your dazzling vocabulary. ‘blue bullshit’
me: oh pardon me. cerulean nonsense
me: azure asshattery
me: periwinkle flippantry
me: cobalt shenanigans
mum: do your friends in japan put up with all the shit you talk