things that make me genuinely upset

jumpingjacktrash:

there are not a lot of them anymore, but this whole ‘kick out the allies!’ thing is one of the few that still does.

you didn’t see my mom taking in fucked up kids in the 80’s, feeding and sheltering and reassuring them when their own parents kicked them out.

you didn’t see my dad playing bodyguard when i’d let him, and teaching me to fight when i wouldn’t, enrolling me in taekwondo and telling me over and over that i was NEVER obligated to let anyone physically push me around, all anxious because i refused to stop wearing a pink triangle pin on my jacket but not trying to talk me out of it because he understood why it was important.

you didn’t see the teachers and students at my school rallying around those of us who were brave enough to come out, you didn’t see how one kid came out in his senior speech and talked about fear and oppression and courage, and got a standing ovation, and the queer students were sobbing with joy and relief because we didn’t expect that to happen. we expected to have to protect him afterwards, but instead the whole school protected him, and we were so grateful and so proud.

you weren’t there the time when three big college boys started harrassing me, nerving themselves up to throw a punch, and i was getting ready to fight back — there were no cel phones back then, no way i could call 911, and there was absolutely no guarantee the cops would help me anyway — and a couple more boys charged out of their frat house, and i was thinking “welp this is where i die” but instead those new guys started yelling at their frat brothers, “what the fuck are you doing, you assholes, knock it the fuck off, this is not what we’re about!” and i wanted to buy those guys flowers, yeah, i wanted to literally give them cookies for being allies because they saved my fucking life.

you weren’t there when coming out meant your friend group was abruptly reduced to one or two people, you don’t know the desperate joy we felt toward the few people who stuck around — because now THEY had to deal with all THEIR friends ditching, and people accusing THEM of being queer, their parents interrogating them and not letting them be alone with us — because people back then assumed the only reason you’d be friends with a queer is if you’re queer too. but they stuck it out because friendship and fighting injustice were important to them, and they refused to let us go it alone.

you. weren’t. there.

and now you come in swinging and you want to kick these people out of the community? now you’re angry they get praise and appreciation? you know what that tells me?

it tells me you’re only in this for praise and appreciation yourself. it tells me you’re an emotional vampire who doesn’t care about the cause.

so fuck right off with your anti-ally gatekeeping. allies save lives.